Watching Ducks

Taking slow time in nature is always the best. You never know what you might see.  After a class at the Arboretum last week we stayed and explored the areas of Duck Bay and Foster Island.  We do this regularly and the boys notice seasonal changes. They watch ducks and they also see other people interacting and enjoying nature: photographers, dog walkers, friends, and park employees.

In this picture a duck came wandering up close to the boys, moments later it swam away when a person in a beautiful wooden canoe paddled past. The boys were impressed watching the boat go under the bridge.  They watched peacefully.   I wondered whether the scene inspired them to travel or experience the world by boat?  I certainly was inspired!

The Rain is Coming Down

It has been a while since my last post, perhaps I have just been waiting for the weather to change.  In any case, this fall has been glorious.  The leaves have only just now shed the trees.   The low sun accompanied by long shadows has been present each day and the boys have played in leaves, rode their bikes and taken long walks throughout the neighborhood almost every day.

Now the rain has come:  The grey sky a cloak.  The air full of water.   

Nevertheless, the boys are happily playing.  Their mud pit comes alive when the water falls.  Water soaks the soil.  It streams from gutters.  The boys are thrilled.  For the past two hours they have not wanted to come in even though it feels wet and cold to me.  Instead they are happily singing and busily rushing around.  They are creating inventions with string and an old cook pot.  They are floating the wooden boats they made from scrap lumber in the puddle they filling with water from the gutters.

 One moment the mud is asphalt and they are stirring it up.  They have grand visions in mind.  Perhaps,  these visions are informed by the diggers and dump trucks we have been watching excavate the land for a new apartment building that will be dressing the skyline of our neighborhood. In any case the boys are having a great day of play.     

Keeping our Neighborhoods Safe

One of the reasons that I choose to walk with my children almost everywhere we go is because it is good for neighborhoods to have people walking the streets.  It makes them feel vibrant.   It is also just good for us. It allows my family to feel connected to people and nature.  Every walk we go on it seems that we meet at least someone we know and exchange greetings and updates.  We also always notice at least one thing about the environment that is different.   This is important.  I write this listening to the birds.  Both of my boys woke up at the sound of the first bird of the day  and while luckily they have gone back to sleep, the birds continue to sing for me and I am glad.  In 1962 Rachel Carson wrote Silent Spring.   The title refers to a spring without birds singing (due to pesticide, DDT in particular).  In 2012 it is up to us to pay attention to our world.  Are we changing it? For the worse or for the better?  Our walks are a check in.

Last night for example our boys said, "Can we go on an after dinner walk?"  Even though both my husband and I were tired and I had a headache; it sounded like a beautiful idea.  The boys  even requested the urban greenspace they wanted to go to.   My husband and I looked at each other with a question.  We have debated it before:  the loop we take when we walk this greenspace takes us through a drug trafficing center.  While mostly this activity has ignored us it has felt uncomfortable at times.  We also have even had to detour the greenspace when teenage activities not appropriate for young children were taking place.  Nevertheless, it is our urban park and in it are native plants that even I assisted in planting ten years ago.   It is also a park where before we even get out the door S says "I want to sit on my log and rest when we get by the big tree."  We all know this park.  So we went.

The journey to the park was lovely.  A friend pulled over in her car and talked to us.  We talked and made our way up a giant hill and even though S kept saying he was so tired, he only required carrying for a short while.   Then we wandered the greenspace.  We were all in awe how in the past month everything had filled out.  It was so green!  And somehow all the green revealed to us new pathways we had never noticed.  It was lovely.  Then we were out.  As we headed home we had to make our way down a long block which bordered the greenspace and we noticed two men standing, smoking, shifting back and forth obviously waiting for us to pass by.   It was uncomfortable and of course the boys wanted to dawdle more than ever.  When S said when we passed some stumps,  "this is where we used to picnic," I was sure he was going to sit down and want a snack- but we went on.  As soon as we finished the block I took a look back.  The men were gone.  They had disappeared into the woods.  They were not hiking.   A camp?  A stash?     

I wonder if it was wrong to go on this route?  Mostly I think it was right.  We just need more people doing the same thing.   Enjoying the evening light.  Getting to know neighbors.  Listening to the sounds of our neighborhood.  Solving community problems together and making our neighborhood safe and comfortable for everyone. 

Reflections on the Long Weekend and Parenting in General

Being a parent makes you slow down. You really can’t get to even a quarter of the things you might think are important, but you can live in “child time.” Child time is slow. It means on a walk home from the market you may watch your children sit under a tree for ten minutes eating pears, then skip fast downhill for a block trying to keep up with your toddlers’ amazing agility, and then slowly stopping and going for the next 20 minutes down that final block before getting home. Child time is a gift that kids give their parents and parents can either choose to fight it or relish it.

My husband and I have decided that these precious years with our young ones we are going to focus on what is most important to us: The boys growing up. The boys exploring their world. The boys getting to know our close friends, family, and community. This means we skip any unnecessary trips to the mall (actually almost all trips that involve driving), choose carefully among the community meetings we wish to attend, and focus our volunteering and personal studies. We prioritize: eating, playing, sleeping, singing, laughing, socializing, being outdoors and supporting community

This past Fourth of July Weekend fit our agenda perfectly:
Friday: was cooking and eating outside with a friend and then attending our neighborhood Beatwalk, which is seeing music at various venues in the community and supporting local businesses
Saturday was for helping friends and then being treated to wonderful home cooked Ethiopian food and amazing joy
Sunday was for lounging, “flying bikes”, and camping out in the back yard
Monday was for continuing to camp by watching the sun rise and then set again: eating meals outside, drinking morning coffee listening to the birds and reading books with Sam as brother and dad continued to sleep in the tent and then splashing, laughing, jumping around and in and out of the wading pool during the last rays of the day.

Our families’ path, our families’ joys, and travails are rooted in our values, our time in history and region. This blog is for my children to know where they came from: what beliefs informed their upbringing. It is also is for me to reflect on my parenting and the path our family is following. Perhaps it will inspire others to try something new- just as we are inspired by all those around us. Our path is riddled with mistakes, but mistakes are where learning comes from. Our path is filled with moments that make a life. For our family no journey can be as grand as watching your youngsters grow. Our goal is to make life’s passages as healthy and inspiring as possible while dancing in an urban nature landscape.