The twins are four years old and it seems like there is less time for writing and more time of doing. It also seems like of late we have been doing more urban outdoor adventures than "natural" settings. We live in a neighborhood with a great walk score. It means that within a mile the boys and I can do most everything we want and not even need to get in the car.
My contemplations these days are: how to make great unstructured play for kids work. Lately one place we have been going to for unstructured play is the neighborhood farmer's market. I have noticed that many young children are either in school group clusters already or they are kids who are hoping to connect with others, but may not have great social skills or know how to have appropriate play on their own.
For example, some children I have noticed will immediately use sword play and play fighting as their way to connect. Although, I applaud the outreach of those children I really think that it has often been influenced by too much tv/ possibly video game violence and it is not creative or even friendly. It is certainly not appropriate around young children which the market is full of or my children who have not yet had screen time.
So far my antidote to troublesome play has been to start some creative play. Last week I taught the kids a game of "everybody's it" and then a variation of "hospital" tag. It worked for a while and in fact there were probably fifteen children running around playing at once, but for the youngest children they didn't necessarily understand when to stop or when to go. "It" is still a new concept & more appropriate for slightly older children.
Play then gravitated to playing in our wagon, which was fine until the child pulling the others decided to "let go" while passengers were on a hill. We may be "helicopter" parents in that we are very attentive, but it was a good thing as my husband was able to run and "catch" the wagon. This is when I helped coordinate the play by being the train engineer. I would let two children on at a time and the rest would follow behind. When we would get to the next stop- which the kids named as California, and Chicago, Seattle and China, the two riders would get off and two more would board the train. Meanwhile all the rest of the line of kids was pushing the wagon or holding onto each others' waists as freight trains.
I realize that allowing children their own space and voice is very important. As a parent I want to give my children tools to find their independence successfully. I want them to know it is great to meet all sorts of friends, but that they make their own choices about what types of play they do and that they feel heard and valued when they have ideas. My boys' preschool practices this on a daily basis as the kids learn to play together. Larger public spheres are harder to maneuver, but my children are learning- and so am I about what role we each have in making unstructured play work.
As the boys fell asleep last night T was explaining a game he wished he could have played with the kids at the park the other day. It was a game involving a couple of wildflowers that he had gathered from the field. In the game he would give the flowers to someone and then they would hide holding the flowers. He would find them. They were not supposed to crush the flowers.
His game sounds simple and sweet. I hope that he can find friends with whom to play it!
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